


Doubt

by Italics_z



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Twenty One Pilots Song, But it's quick, Caring Josh Dun, Fluff, M/M, Miscommunication, Self-Indulgent, Songfic, Tyler Joseph Is a Sweetheart, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 21:06:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19776409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Italics_z/pseuds/Italics_z
Summary: Tyler has hid his feelings for Josh from Josh for years. So what happens when Josh has had enough and decides to get an answer?





	Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic on the twenty one pilots song 'Doubt'.  
> So sorry I haven't been posting that much, but I'm working feverishly on my Reed900 work that I actually am STUCK on so,,, but I'll try to get it out as soon as possible.

**Scared of my own image, scared of my own immaturity**

“How does it make you feel?” The interviewer asks, flipping the card with the question to the back.

Josh was going to say something, but Tyler cut in, “My fans know who we are, so I- we don’t have anything to worry about.” Josh nodded along, his signature smile on his face, making Tyler giggle.

**Scared of my own ceiling, scared I'll die of uncertainty**

Tyler shuffled through the paper, looking for the right one in the stack.

“You’re sure you’re okay, Ty?” Josh asked for the upteenth time.

See, Tyler has been acting strange lately. He wasn’t as organized with his music sheets, he was singing a second too late, and he’s been dozing off quite a lot. Josh originally marked it up as his realization of their tour coming to an end, but now he wasn’t so sure.

**Fear might be the death of me, fear leads to anxiety**

“Yeah, just tired,” Tyler lied, finally finding the sheet of music and setting it up. He, of course, didn’t feel okay, but he couldn’t just tell Josh truly what was wrong. He would tell him about anything else. About him feeling like he wanted to kick the bucket, about family problems, about him getting his dick stuck in a pringles can when he’s drunk off his face. But he couldn’t tell him this. About how he falls asleep every night, with his wife in his arms, wishing he was with his best friend. Wishing he could tell him how he feels and just hope for the best.

**Don’t know what’s inside of me**

He’s held his walls high for years before, but now that they’re on the Banditø tour, now that it’s coming to an end, they’re crumbling, falling to his feet in boulders. At least he knows that he isn’t being too obvious, since Josh is still asking what’s wrong. Josh. His Josh that stayed even when he got engaged and married Jenna, the Josh that cares for Tyler's well being.

**Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me**

**Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me**

Josh, behind the drums, pursed his lips.

**Even when I doubt you**

Josh stared at Tyler, he was unconvinced. Tyler has been through an end of a tour, and he’s never been like this. He wonders constantly why Tyler would act like this. Is he acting like this around others?

**I'm no good without you, no, no**

Tyler could feel the eyes on the back of his head, and he was damn near to exploding. He needed Josh with him, he was his best friend. How could he be so _selfish_? He couldn’t push Josh like this. He couldn’t risk it.

“Alright,” Josh finally says, and he starts tapping his drumsticks together.

**Temperature is dropping, temperature is dropping**

**I'm not sure if I can see this ever stopping**

After the show, Tyler and Josh took a bow in front of the crowd, their fans screaming praise and hands coming together in applause. They ran out, hand-in-hand, panting and vibrating with adrenaline.

“ _Wow_ ,” Josh breathes, turning to Tyler, who was blushing, looking at their hands.

“Yeah, _wow_ ,” Tyler agrees, tearing his eyes away from their hands. Tyler let go, as gut wrenching as it was, he had to, or he wasn’t going to be able to later.

**Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no**

“ _You’ve got a wife_.” A chilling voice creeps up on him while he was trying to sleep. “ _I know_ ,” He responds. “ _Josh probably doesn’t want you anymore. You tore his heart into a million pieces, it’s a miracle he’s even still your friend_.” It taunts. “ _I know_ ,” He responds again. The stinging of his eyes tells him that he was going to start sobbing. Crying in this empty bed as he was speeding down a highway to the next city.

**You are all that I’ve got, no**

Tyler grins at Josh as he was banging on the drums, doing his solo. He was focused, his eyes trailing to the places he knew would come next. The crowd was jumping, hands in the air and phones out. Tyler could not feel more elated than he already felt. Josh sent him a glance and gave a big dopey grin. He started to sing just in time, butterflies everywhere within him.

**Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me**

**Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me**

“Ty, please tell me what’s going on,” Josh said, turning away from the movie that was on screen. Josh and Tyler had, after the show, clambered into the bus, giggle drunk and filled with adrenaline, sat down and Tyler had picked up a movie and slid it into the TV. They fell into the couch, and sat watching it. By now, the adrenaline had gone down and was now replaced by drowsiness.

Tyler glanced at Josh, then back to the screen and answered, “I’m just sad that the tour is ending.” Which wasn’t a _total_ lie, he was sad it was ending. But, of course, it wasn’t the whole reason.

**Even when I doubt you**

Josh felt his heart tear a little more. With every lie and half lie Tyler spoke, his soul was being smashed and torn. _Piece by piece_.

**I'm no good without you, no, no, no, no, no**

Tyler almost winced at Josh’s expression. It only showed the signs of being stabbed in the heart.

**Gnawing on the bishops, claw our way up their system**

“Tell me why I feel this way? Are you betraying me?” Tyler wept, on his knees, praying in his room, late at night. His heart was beating fast, “What do I do?”

**Repeating simple phrases, someone holy insisted**

“ _I do not like Josh in that way._ ” He chants. “ _Yes you do_.” His head chants back, stronger.

**Want the markings made on my skin**

**To mean something to me again**

Whether it was about the cross on his arm or the hickies on his neck placed there by his wife, he no longer knows. The numbing pain was receding. Running farther and farther away. His faith that his feelings would come back to him was sprinting equally as fast, leaving him a broken man, who is married, under the oath of God, but wants to leave to his best friend. To his Josh. He could only read his tattoo as “i i”.

**Hope you haven't left without me**

“Tyler, I know you’re lying.”

**Hope you haven't left without me, please**

“Jish, you’re being dramatic,” Tyler reasons, his words only stomping on his heart further, “I’m alright.”

**Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me**

**Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me**

Josh blinked, but his face hardened immediately after. “How long have we known each other? How long have we been best friends?” Josh asks. Tyler was about to answer, but Josh cut him off, “Long enough to know when I know that you’re lying, Ty. Something is bothering you.”

**Even when I doubt you**

Tyler was silent. His hand gripping onto the last shreds of hope. The last bit of an excuse he had, but there was nothing. He was at a dead end. I'm no good without you, no Josh stared at him, focused, yet soft. He was being honest, he wanted to know what’s wrong.

**Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me**

“Josh, I… I know you wouldn’t like what I tell you,” Tyler whimpered, looking at his hands that were shaking on his lap.

“No matter what you say, I’m sure it wouldn’t be that bad,” Josh says, offering a small smile, then it dropped.

**Don't forget abou-bou-bou-bou-bout me**

“Ty, are you… Kicking me out of the band? Not wanting to be my friend anymore?” Josh asked, but he wasn’t totally there, he seemed struck.

“No! Josh, no! I would- I would never!” Tyler sputtered erratically, grabbing onto Josh's arm. For once, the singer told the truth.

“Then what, Ty?” Josh pleads.

“I…” “ _Tell him_.” “I…”

**Even when I doubt you**

Josh watched the emotional battle swirling on his friends’ face. The beautiful smile he normally wears was gone, overpowered by the harsh, pained frown. Oh how he wished he could wipe it off.

**No good without you, no, no, no, no, no**

“Josh, I… I love you,” Tyler choked out. He’s said it so many times, but this time it held more.

**Hey! Hey! Don't forget about me, no**

Josh sucked in a breath. Hearing those words come out so different meant so much to Josh. He could only imagine hearing those words come out of Tyler’s mouth like _that_. With that kind of meaning. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn’t stop. Now, it was reality, it played right in front of his eyes.

**Hey! Hey! Don't forget about me, no**

“Ty, please look at me,” Josh said softly, taking his arm that was free from Tyler’s grip and cupping the singers cheek with his hand. Tyler willed his head up and looked Josh in the eyes. The drummer gave a sweet smile, wiping some of Tyler’s tears away.

“I love you too, I always have,” He says, and Tyler closed his eyes, more tears falling down his cheeks. Josh would have been worried if not for the singer's gigantic smile.

**Hey! Hey! Don't forget about me, no**

Josh pulled Tyler into a hug, enveloping him with all he had. Tyler gripped onto him just as tight, not fazed by what he might look like. All that mattered was Josh. Josh gripped onto Tyler, not caring that tears were flooding his face also. All that mattered was Tyler.

Tyler pushed away gently, and after a moment or two of looking each other in the eye, they leaned in and their lips met. It was uncoordinated, messy, and salty, but it was also years and years of love, pain, and care. Their emotions spiraling and being expressed through their kiss. It was Tyler and Josh.

“ **Hey! Hey! Don't forget about me, no!** ” Tyler sang. It was the final song of their final show of the Bantitø tour. He let his mic go and ran to Josh. His… Boyfriend. He grinned, taking his hand and pulling him to the front of the stage.

“Jishua Dun, everyone!” Tyler said, gesturing to him. The crowd cheered wildly.

Josh gestured wildly to Tyler, grinning and said, “Ty Joseph, everyone!” More cheers.

Tyler looked at him with what must be the most lovesick expression ever, Josh seemingly doing the same. Tyler couldn’t handle it. He gripped his shoulders and tugged him down, kissing him. Josh reciprocated immediately, tugging Tyler closer by his hips. Vaguely Tyler could hear the screeching coming from the crowd, but most of his attention was focused on Josh.

They let go after a bit and bowed. Josh grabbed onto Tyler's hand, them falling together seamlessly, and they jogged off stage. No, Josh could never forget about Tyler Joseph. The angel, _his_ angel.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
